Jamie Potter
by jazzstar02
Summary: A one-shot about the hilarity and friendship that issues when you are best friends with the marauders. Read and Review!


**A/N: Just something I wrote to pass time. Should give you a hint about what Jazz's Marauder name will be. Review ya'll! Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please ?  
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**Thanks.**

...

A completely ticked of and a pissed James Potter walked into the Great Hall. Words could not describe how he looked. He had shoulder-length brown hair, and sparkling hazel eyes, coated with mascara and eye shadow. His lipstick was a bright pink, glittering in the florescent light. He was wearing a sparkly pink dress that would not come off, no matter how hard he tried. Beaded jewelry was strung around his ears, neck, and wrists.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" James face said 'I will murder you', and the dangerous, crazed, look in his eyes- well, it didn't really look dangerous considering all the make up he was wearing. Sirius Black, forever the guilty culprit along with his lady CRAZY best friend Jazz, sniggered fiercely.

"Why hello, Jamie, mate! What's new?" James growled, angrily. Jazz ran up to him.

"Hi!" she said, way too perky for her personality. "I'm Jazz! You're a sixth year right? You'll be in my dorm! Along with Lily, Cherry, and Alice too." James growled again. Jazz couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing; what a sight her and her friends made. James was a girl, wearing _adidas_ sneakers, a pair of mens glasses, and a quidditch shirt over the dress, giving the impression he was wearing a pink skirt. This set Sirius, Remus, and Peter off too. James pouted.

"What have I done to deserve this, my sister?" he said, in an unrecognizable, stupid, accent. She grinned at him wickedly.

"Everything, dear Potter, everything." He sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, Star, you're effing hilarious. You too, Padfoot. Now bloody turn me back, you bloody idiot faces!" Jazz laughed evilly.

"Idiot faces. Original Prongs," said Remus, sarcastically. James, Sirius, and Jazz ignored him.

"Oh, but my dear prongs, we can't!" said Jazz.

"Excuse me?"

"The charm will last four hours!"

"FOUR HOURS?!" A blonde guy with scruffy hair came up to James, also known as Jamie or Janice.

"Hey. Haven't seen you around lately, babe. New? Well that's all right. I'm Amazing Guy. Wanna go to Hogsmeade tomorrow with me? Like you know...a date?" Dead silence.

"OHMYGOD!" Jazz said loudly. That did it. Remus laughed so hard, he ended up in a terrible coughing fit, and he needed three glasses of water before he could stop coughing and continue laughing crazily. Sirius was thumping the table, cracking up. He fell of the bench, and rolled around on the floor, pretty much telling the world that he was insane. James scowled.

"Get. OUT!" said James to the unknown idiot. He took one look at James's expression, and scrambled. To make things worse, Lily walked up to the insane children. She took one look at Sirius on the floor, and turned to Jazz.

"Jazz, why is Sirius-"

"JAMES GOT ASKED OUT BY A GUY! HE SAID YES! HE'S GAY!" Jazz could've sworn she saw a flicker of disappointment on Lily's face for a fraction of a second.

"What?" asked Lily. James glared, hard, at Jazz.

"I am NOT gay! Star, have I mentioned lately that I absolutely HATE your weak girl guts?" Lily looked confused and slightly puzzled.

"But you're not-" James realized what he had done, and groaned dramatically. Lily's eyes widened, as she grasped the situation.

"This is absolutely NOT funny!" she yelled. Sirius rolled his eyes, and stood up, brushing dust off his dark ripped jeans.

"Here comes a Lily lecture," he grumbled under his breath so James and Lily didn't hear him, and kill him with their eyes.

"Do you even know how many rules you've broken? Stop laughing Jazz! Remus Lupin! I'd expect better of you! You're a prefect for Merlin's sake, A BLOODY PREFECT!"

"All hail the prefects of doom," whispered Jazz to Sirius, who sniggered.

"He could've gotten stuck! He still CAN get stuck! And I REFUSE TO SHARE A DORM WITH JAMES BLOODY POTTER! The spell could've gone wrong, this is a NEWT spell! Don't you understand? We'd get so many house points taken, if anyone found out, and we'd lose our lead for the Cup! You guys could've got detention, though that hardly matters to you! What would your parents say? Merlin's beard, I would've hoped that you _marauders_ would have even an ounce of common sense, considering all the pranks you play. You five act like little kids! And you tease Snape, while you lot are arrogant idiots! What about classes? What are you going to do about that? Probably skip, knowing you. And what if another person asks you out? DO YOU KNOW WHAT RUMORS WOULD BE SPREAD ABOUT YOU IF YOU KEEP REJECTING EVERYONE, YOU IDIOT?" Lily said.

Peter stared. He sighed.

"That's five minutes of my life I'll never get back."

The marauders stared at Lily, until she cracked a small smile. She mumbled something incoherent under her breath. Sirius cupped a hand around his left ear.

"Sorry, Lily-Flower, didn't catch that. What did you say?"

"It was kind of funny," said Lily quietly, not looking at the five. They stared at her, expressions amused and amazed.

"Has the world ended?" James said.

"Are we in heaven?" said Sirius, looking around at his surroundings.

"Pinch me, I must be dreaming. It's the only logical explanation," Remus said.

Peter stared at the girl who apparently was Lily Evans.

"Oh shut up." Jazz grinned.

"Us? Be quiet? Never." Lily smirked.

"Whatever," said Lily.

...

"So, Jamie, how about this one?" Sirius asked the girl/boy. The kids were out in Hogsmeade, buying supplies for their next prank at Zonko's prank shoppe. 'Jamie', still upset about his appearance, merely nodded. Sirius, not noticing anything, nodded back cheerfully in response to the sullen child. "Jolly Good pick, mate! I have to say, the pink and purple will definitely clash with Professor McGonagall's robes, and it will look magnificently splendid with Professor Dumbledore's robes."

James nodded once more.

"Sirius."

"What?"

"TURN ME BACK!"

'Okey-dokey." Sirius muttered a spell. The girl disappeared, and in it's place stood James. With no pants on.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

...

**A/N: Hoped you liked? Review! **

**~jazz**


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